On School fires in Kenya

Absurdity cannot begin to describe the state of our beloved nation today. From Cord demos making Mondays semi holidays with IEBC demonstrations to now teenagers and whomever is helping them paralyzing the education sector… This country is heading towards chaos with a government unwilling or unable to take action.

The National Intelligence Service has advised the president to close all public secondary schools immediately to mitigate further destruction of schools. Cabinet secretary for Education,the admant Fred Matiang’i opposes the move and I wholeheartedly agree with him.school arson

Just like Al Shabab and like minded organizations work by disrupting the system and making countries un-governable,  elements guilty of burning schools have taken a leaf from the same ideology. They disagree with some decisions from the top and they will work relentlessly to make sure they get their way to reverse them.

Or they could have a problem with the decision maker as calls are already being made to oust Mr. Matiang’i.

I do not believe that changes in school term length is what is the issue here. The kids are obviously irritated but I don’t see them angry enough to riot and burn schools. After all its not as if they will ask to be back earlier in December when the holidays will be 2 months long. Plus the manner in which schools are being burnt seems systematic and coordinated, a bit too much for students to execute.

There are more powerful people orchestrating this mess. And there is much more at stake than meets the eye. Which leads me back to disruption of order and what the government should do.

Countries cannot and do not close due to terrorist activities, they find ways to overcome them.  The same should be applied to Kenya public school. This is domestic terrorism lite and the sitting government has to be able to stop it.

Let’s take the students, cartels, principals, teachers and whomever will be found guilty of organizing the chaos as who they truly are; criminals!  They should be tried, sentenced and jailed for their actions.

Mr. President please do not close our schools. Ignore the National Intelligence Service advise to close schools, instead instruct them to hand all information and names of those involved in burning schools to the relevant authority for prosecution. 

A reluctant stance in times of turmoil is recipe for disaster.

Keep Kenyan public schools open. Keep the country moving forward.

It rains, it pours

Happy Furahiday bloggers, its been a minute.

Welcome to the rebirth…from the land of Naija movies for evening entertainment. I can’t get past the accent let alone background ‘louder than speech’ music, not to mention repetitive plots. Kenyans love their soaps…

Beware people, the city under the sun is under attack by corrupt politicians, a pretentious ICC investigator and ridiculously heavy rain. If you want to know how heavy this rain is pouring; ask your local sukuma wiki mama the price of one tomato. I do not know how heavy rains correlate with tomato prices but she says its the reason.

If you haven’t gotten your voters card by now, stop reading this now and get your ass one. Its the only way that we will avoid the Anan’s and Ocampo’s in the future.  Plus its your right to vote YES on the Katiba, exercise it.

Good weekend peoples.

Stand by Haitians – Ways to donate

Ways you can donate to relief efforts.

1. Already viral on Facebook and social networking sites, the Red Cross is getting the word out about its text-message donation system. Text “HAITI” to the number 90999 to donate $10, which will be added to your next cellphone bill. You can also donate online through the Red Cross website.

2. Hospitals in Haiti are badly damaged and overwhelmed. To help medical aid workers, donate to Doctors Without Borders on its website.

3. International aid group CARE has already sent 133 staff members to Haiti, and it will be distributing food. You can donate your Delta Air Lines SkyMiles to transport CARE aid workers to Haiti or give money for relief funds through its website.

4. Louise Ivers, clinical director for Haiti for Partners in Health, wrote in an E-mail to colleagues, “Port-au-Prince is devastated, lot of deaths. SOS. SOS … Please help us.” You can donate to support Partners in Health’s field hospitals on its website.

5. Today, World Vision heads to Haiti with 18 tons of supplies, including blankets, tarps, and water containers. Support World Vision by donating through its website.

6. The UNICEF representative in Haiti, Guido Cornale, told the BBC yesterday that the Haitian earthquake is one of the worst he’s seen in his life. To help children in Haiti, donate via UNICEF’s website.

7. Haitian-American rapper Wyclef Jean’s foundation to rebuild Haiti, Yéle, is also accepting text-message donations. Text “Yele” to 501501 to donate $5, which will be added to your next phone bill. You can also donate via the Yéle Foundation’s website.

8. International Relief and Development will supply water, sanitation kits, medicines, hygiene kits, and shelter materials. You can donate to IRD on its website.

9. Oxfam already has 200 volunteers stationed in Haiti. They’ll be providing clean water, shelter, and sanitation through donations on Oxfam’s website.

10. The Salvation Army is sending 285,120 boxed meals of rice, soy, and vitamins to Haiti. Support the Salvation Army through its website.

– Also in the US you can donate spare change to the American Red Cross via Coinstar.

source: www.usnews.com

Whore, Whore, Whore…a merry Tiger Xmas

Dear Santa,

Wassup pimp? How is Mrs. Santa, and the whore, whore, whores doing? Hope all is well with you, lazy bastard. I still can’t believe you get away with working 1 day per year. What do you do, fill out 364 vacation days?

Lucky bastard.

Anyway, every single freaking year since the Eleen Error, I have asked for one thing only, a fucking divorce! And what do you do year after year? You slide me another bimbo – not that I have complained, but its like asking for Nintendo Wii and getting college fund receipt. Nice but not really what I asked for.

So last thanksgiving as it has been since the Elin Error dawned on us, I was having Swedish meatballs and chasing them with Vicodin, Ambien, Baileys and whiskey…you know typical thanksgiving dinner at the Woods.

Then out of the blue Elin goes off on mistress #19 (apparently 18 bimbos is her cutoff) and sends my ass to the garage.

To tell you the truth I don’t know what the hell happened, I was stuffed, buzzed and slightly horny. All I remember when I gained consciousness is Elin holding my 9 iron, the caddy humping a hydrant, a cut lip and pain all over my body.

Then 911, National Enquirer, Lawyers…transgressions blah blah blah. The rest as they say is sweet history.

As I write this (in the bathroom, keeping appearance till divorce is final)…my lawyers and hers are working on the details of turning a nanny beau to one of Swedish richest. And you know what, I couldn’t give two shits.

I will give her 150 Mil, pay my ‘debt’ to society but so what? I am Eldrick Freaking Woods! I am 33, good looking, ethnic (but not black) and I play in a sport-ish event that you can literally play till government retirement age.

I made a billion dollars in 12 years, I can make the same in the next ten. I have the Nike CEO still kissing my ass amidst all the ‘drama’ so trust me the rest of sponsors will come back.

Of course I do feel for the kids and Elin, I am not a monster you know. Truth be told Elin is a good lady but I am just not the marriage type. I tried to tame the Tiger but no one really can, it has a head of its own.

Be well my friend and have a succesfull day in 2010. Thanks to you, I am already having the time of my life and can’t wait to get back out there.


p.s. if you watch the fist pump carefully I always had the hips bent in an up against the wall humping style kinda of pose…practice makes perfect, ask the ladies.

Tiger Woods goes way over PER

Well well well….what do we have here? Do I see Tiger on the 19th with his driver out and multiple holes to go?

Oh yeah, its Tiger again finishing with a modest 2 over PER.

If you are not familiar with PER, it is a common phrase with menfolk that simply means one’s P*ssy Entitlement Ratio. Most men with or without their knowledge are assigned a PER 1.

A PER 1 simply means that your girlfriend or wife  has booked your woody for permanent domestication. In the case of Tiger, his Woody would be entitled to be in or near only one certain Swedish blond one.

They say man is to err and I mostly agree especially when it comes covering up his errs. There exists very few men who can consistently go over their assigned PER and neither get caught by their wives (Tiger); nor by wife & law (Kobe); or worst case scenario – wife, law and death (Steve McNair).

The risks always outweigh the 11 or so minutes of pleasure but men of all walks of life cannot help but succumb.

For Tiger he not only stands to lose the ‘perfect guy’ persona he has carefully cultivated over the years but he may not have the millions of dollars that come along with it.Not to mention the small matter of his certified PER 1 being temporarily off limits.

So what should Tiger do?

First and foremost, put Woody away. Accustom him to solo flights until PER 1 is warm enough to venture back in. Definitely forget away games for a long time!

Second and most important confess! To your wife first obviously but then to the public. Do not buy anyone’s BS who says ”you are entitled to your privacy’ . Unless of course you are satisfied with the current balance in your account plus yearly earnings on the golf course sans endorsements.

See, society’s behavior is akin to a preteen girl on her 4th red-bull at a Jonas brothers concert.We are excited, we will overreact, we demand answers now, we will make snap judgments but eventually will forget and or get over it.

By confessing to adultery (avoid uttering ‘adultery’ during ‘teary sorry’ press conference) you will satisfy all our needs. Do not dare go Clinton on us…the truth is already out there, just confirm it.

Thirdly, give away money and time.

Oprah does this all the time and she hasn’t even been caught doing anything yet (not even Gayle). You will need to attend random charitable events and give generously. Attend marriage counseling and make sure the media follows you. Give your time to anyone who needs it other than PER 2, 3, etc.

Basically do your best Mother Theresa impression for a few months…trust me, it will all be worth it.

Finally, start winning and winning big. At tournaments be always several strokes a head. Win with defiance but find a way to always seem humble.

Remember, society doesn’t mind cheaters but it loathes cheaters who get caught and deny.

Good luck Tiger, you will need it.

aNaA taG

Its a long time since I did one of this and not much has changed other than I am older, maybe wise and definitely a little less placid.
3cb tagged I, so here we go.
1. What time did you get up this morning?

8:06 am after resetting the alarm from 7:15 to 7:40 and then snoozing several times.

I find 7 minutes intervals to be the perfect time between ‘that ka sleep is checking in again but I have to wake up” and ‘Shit! its 9am, I must have snoozed waaaay off”‘.

2. How do you like your steak?

Medium well.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Bruno! The catapult scene and rocking the baby were just two classic Ali G demented scenes.

4. What is your favorite TV show?

Weeds or Curb Your Enthusiasm. I switch a lot though…

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?


6. What did you have for breakfast?

Lipton black tea and a banana. I am still waiting for ketepa tea bags….I bought some Ketepa tea bags from an Indian store here and let me just say – that is the worst tea bagging ever.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

.KE (does nyam chom qualify as a cuisine in itself?), Thai & Chinese. My cucu’s food save for…8

8. What foods do you dislike?

I don’t care for sweet stuff as much.

And my cucu’s igatad fried eggs. Igata seemed to me like hardened salt – a renegade salt if you will – that refused to sit still in magadi and wait to mature and be harvested like all other salt is.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?

Several places, none in particular.

10. Favorite dressing?

A thousand Island.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?

It gets me from point A to B and it hasn’t needed a visit to the mechanic of late so I am happy.

12. What are your favorite clothes?

Comfortable clothes, I like shorts & scandals a lot but winter comes in and kills that style.

Sometime dressing up, casual smart, is not bad either.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

Always full, spilling over…we need another cup before this half empty cup messes everything up.

15. Where would you want to retire?

Heaven, I hope.

If they are asking where would I like to spend my old days….Nairobi  & travel the world.

16. Favorite time of day?

Between afternoon and evening.

17. Where were you born?

My mother told me in Nairobi and a few relatives have confirmed her story. But you can never know with these things…

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

NFL, Soccer, NBA, Michgan State Football & Basketball.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

Most people who don’t read my blog and or don’t have internet access

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

Read this out loud like a death panel activist…I WILL TAG 3N FIRST! Now go out there and make something out of yourself, tag away!

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

Only everyone.

22. Bird watcher?

Long story. My mum really insisted that we watch birds. During vacations she would make us wake up early to go watch birds as we fed them. Then throughout the day she would have us watch them as they lay eggs and take the eggs away.

I also watched quite a number of birds become deliciously edible.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?


24. Do you have any pets?

Not really.

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?

Not really.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

At first a doctor (I even made people call me Dr. 3N), then lawyer, then a politician.

27. What is your best childhood memory?

Hanging out with my grandparents.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

I can never trust that a dog won’t bite me. And cats seem to always be working on a sinister plot…so neither.

29. Are you married?

Will be, someday.

30. Always wear your seat belt?


31. Been in a car accident?

A few, 1 I caused.

The last one, our car was ‘lifted’ from the back by a Nissan on Kamiti road and the driver pulled a Usain on us.

I thought I momentarily saw heaven only to realize later it was just the windscreen getting close and personal.

32. Any pet peeves?

People who buy political rhetoric / bullshit.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

Sausage & green peppers.

34. Favorite Flower?


35. Favorite ice cream?


36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

It changes, right now I like Quiznos sandwiches.

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?


38. From whom did you get your last email?


39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Nairobi Stock Exchange, its a store right?

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

I sang at a Kariuki bar the other day for the first time and I wasn’t even tipsy. Watch out Jonas Brothers!

41. Like your job?

In some ways yes and in more ways no.

42. Broccoli?


43. What was your favorite vacation?

Can’t remember…need one.

44. Last person(s) you went out to dinner with?


45. What are you listening to right now?

The sound of life, its rhythmically predictable and sweet.

46. What is your favorite color?


47. How many tattoos do you have?

None that I know of.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

Not sure yet.

49. What time did you finish this quiz?

didn’t check time before and after.

50. Coffee Drinker?

I know many. Used to be one but I switched to tea, lipton tea until a good samaritan sends boxes of ketepa tea bags.

Did You Know?

That MJ is not yet buried?

I am not sure he is even dead…remember how he pulled that trick that he was white and all this time his closest buddies (mourners on stage, doctor, lawyers etc) were black?

In fact the most consistent white people around MJ were the young boys, go figure!

Michael was a great talent and a greater freak (SERIOUSLY, who buys a hundreds and hundreds of right handed gloves, WTF does he think the manufacturer is supposed to do with the left ones??)

All I know is MJ could be in a cave in Afghanistan working on single with 2pac while his perm gives way.


A few words for my son


The world is made up of two kinds of people, those who make a living and those who live. Those who screw and the ones who get screwed…leaders and followers.

There is little in between, the middle class – grey area – is a sham for the elite to keep people working their asses off and themselves at the top!

Never see life through virgin eyes which as I have always told you is a terrible thing to do both philosophically and literally.

Life corrupts, or at the least dents the genuineness of our souls. It screws us in more ways than an African leader can every imagine!

Do not sit by the wayside and let ye be screwed. Be a man of action, pursue and live the results you want. Fight to the top, take risks, anticipate, accept and learn from mistake.

And always remember, when you are challenged or down; get the fuck back up and fight like your life depended on it.

It does.