Sex to save our Marriage!
Please allow me to introduce myself, my father Mungai wa Kigochi gave me the name of his father Kigochi. It is our tradition and hence the reason I named my son Mungai. I realized quite early that Kigochi is not a name that would make girls shiver, so I adopted KM.
I have decided to start this blog because my life is in shambles and my marriage is even in more trouble. After the fist visit with our psychiatrist he advised me to let things out and I know at least the internet is anonymous. It also does not talk back or scream at you, both of which my wife is very good at.
To tell you the truth finding myself in this position is no surprise. My mother used to tell me “Kigochi if you are not careful with women, you will end up old and lonely”. Now I am not sure if she is happy or sad that I am married. She keeps asking “Kigochi when are you going to give birth to me?” and I keep telling her that I am no God and in fact I am lucky to have secured a son.
We are already quarrelling because of Mungai our son and our relationship, who tells you adding a Wangari, will not break this marriage? Our marriage is hanging on a very thin line and it will ned a lot of healing before we can welcome another child.
I can take the whole day describing my lovely wife and I don’t use that word lightly. However I am sure we don’t have the time and there are more pressing issues at hand.
There are many reasons to believe that my marriage is on life support. Let me start by several making you aware of a few things. First that even though I am quite a humble man, I do come from a clan of outstanding men who pride themselves in the art of you know, real men. Beer, mild wealth and a drive that many women swear should be in the Guinness world of records. I definitely do not want to brag and my wife constantly reminds me there might not be much to brag about. But the men of the Kigochi clan are no jokers and they don’t take responsibility of any kind lightly.
I am a hardly married man; I only got together with my wife two years ago. And just like every relationship it started out fine before things turned sour down the road. It was just only 6 months into the marriage that Wangari, my wife started to introduce agendas that I clearly don not remember signing up for. Gradually but surely those agendas are the ones that have slowly sliced happiness out of our marriage. And as usual Wangari believes that everything that that is wrong with our marriage, I am responsible.
There is some truth to Wangari’s claim, I am at least a contributing factor to our problems. In my earlier days I used to be a free spirit and I am sure my mother picked up on it and cautioned me numerous times. Old habits are hard to break off and I have succumbed to temptation and cheated once. For now we will keep it at once because that is the only time that Wangari is aware of. It is nothing I am proud of and that is one of the reason I agreed to see Dr. Hanson and pay him for advice that my grandfather would have not charged me if he was alive, God rest his soul.
And before you go out blaming me on this dilemma, I must inform you that Wangari is also not clean. She admitted to me that after finding out I cheated, she was so outraged that she also did something that I cannot let my fingers type. Even what made it worse is that I never caught her; she could not keep it to herself because of guilt. I at least was caught, my grandfather the great Kigochi always told me when a man cheats he takes the fifth and pleads innocent. No matter what and especially if there is no evidence you deny and carry it to your grave.
Dr. Hanson, an older and frankly weird fellow sits across the room as each of us narrate our different versions of the truth. I find it hard to believe the things my wife is willing to tell this stranger of a man. She claims that from the time she admitted to cheating I have decided to withdraw from her and I have stopped looking at her the way I used to look at her.
I won’t say how much true that is but I surely know my grandfather would roll in his grave if he ever found out I was discussing personal matters with a stranger, a white man at that. I am also stubborn on this idea and I am not sure I am going to the next session. At this point I don’t know which way to turn, one thing I know is that we cannot continue paying a white man to tell us problems that we both now.
Working eight hours a day and putting in four at night, I cannot waste money on shrinks. But for my son I will go against everything I believe in and see whether this therapy will help.
I still cannot come into term with what my wife did. It is something that can easily end this marriage. At this point I do not know what to think or even what to do….