There are many issues a young man must understand and accept if he is to penetrate…get your mind out of the gutter…penetrate a woman’s mind!Women are not as simple as many men have found out the hard way. They are indeed quite complex individuals who need to be studied and understood carefully before making assumption or even worse passing simplified and ignorant judgments.
The first and most important aspect to understand about women is communication. Obviously by now everyone knows that women talk a lot but it is still the most underrated aspect of women behavior. They never run out of words, I don’t know how but they can talk about anything at any given time and for an undetermined amount of time.
And please don’t let them start with “you know how I feel about this”. Trust me you are in for a long one. “I feel like doing this, what Jenny said made feel like, how come you don’t share your feelings…” “How do you feel about this, that, me, yourself, your job, my job…it never ends with feelings and questions”. Mind you they don’t let you answer, they will answer for you!
For example and I quote “How come you are so quiet” only later to ask “can I ever get a chance to talk?” And if they ever ask “where is this going?” Wooi if you don’t have a good answer, you are in deep shit. Better start working on the, ummm I gotta go so…next week same time?
So what is a young man supposed to do? Not to worry, there is a way and we are working on more. You must become an expert at listening. And don’t try the dumb, “yeah, that’s interesting, cool, say what?” interjecting in between her pauses. We are dealing with women not children; they are very smart and sophisticated and usually will write off an idiotic guy immediately. That won’t pass unless you are dealing with a dumb blonde, in which case you are on your own.
It boils down to only one thing, reassurance. We all need to be reassured, someone to believe in you and what you are doing with your life. Now when a woman gets reassured by a man she cares about, its worth a million times more. It’s not necessarily agreeing with her but rather showing a genuine interest in what she says and does with her life.
Listen carefully, understand her main points and note where her feelings and emotions peak. What in the whole conversation stood out? and in case there is blame, please know who is to blame. Blame always has to go to the right person, if not we could be dealing with statements like, “so you don’t believe me, was I wrong?”
“Was I wrong?” is especially a tricky one. It doesn’t matter if she was wrong. You work is to judge where you are in the relationship. You must be in good standing in order to be able to tell her she is wrong. If everything is not running smoothly, you could be dealing with “so again you are taking her side, why don’t you just marry her…” or even worse “leave me alone, I just want to sleep”. You don’t want either.
To end all conversations right you need to summarize what she just said, in your own words hitting key points while reassuring her in a gentle way indeed she is right. If in case you have to disagree, please be careful, and ideally use her points to show what you mean. Like, “baby, even you said this…don’t you think…”
Finally never forget that whatever you say is stored in a hard drive that never erased. Whatever you say can and will be used against you in the course of your relationship! Be careful out there.