- Obama marries Hilary Clinton and they become a joint candidate for the democratic party only to loose to John McCain and Condy
- Britney & Paris finally come out much to the amazement of Nicole “Skeleton” Richie who always assumed she was Paris’ one and only.
- Scientist find out that not only is there water on Mars but a big mac sandwich is cheaper and Michael Jackson is the prime minister.
- The UN finally stops taking it in the ass from the US. It moves its headquarters to Canada and starts flirting with China.
- ODM-Kenya signs an MOU with Del Monte to supply Pineapples after there is a shortage of Oranges due to intense campaigning.
- Raila wakes up in 2008 to find that not only is he not the president but Kibaki has appointed Kalonzo & Uhuru cabinet ministers in a new Government of National Unity. He later accepts a position as Minister of All talk and no show.
- Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie adopt a Vietnamese chimp and name him Sudan.
- Madonna adopts a Somalian male stripper.
- R Kelly is finally tried for sex with a minor. The 26 year old accuser is forced to drop charges after admitting to having sex with Kels the night before the trial.
- Tupac releases 2 new albums. At the premiere he cites the late 2pac as his inspiration.
- Best ad in 2007. PC to Mac: Shut the fuck up!
Have a fun filled juicy 2007.