I have to fire my eating coach!

While most of us can use a “don’t eat that, its not good for your health” coach, Mary-Kate Olsen fired her ‘eating coach’.

Made of bones and air Mary-Kate is lucky she is not black. Otherwise she would have already been adopted by angelina jolie or taken to a refugee camp.

But to this case of an eating coach…

What the hell is an eating coach? What coaching does one need to eat?

My sources reveal one of the sessions Mary K has with her coach goes like this:

mk: what should i do coach?
ec: put this in your mouth, its good for you.
mk: what is it, eew!
ec: its called a sausage good protein for your body.
mk: ok
ec: no, don’t do that.. you have to eat it, chew mary!
mk: sorry coach, wrong sausage
ec: try this then..
mk: what is it, eew!
ec: its a slice of bread, dammit, Jesus Christ, eat it!!

and so on and so forth.

But seriously an eating coach! What is the world coming to? Its disgusting…anyway gotta go my breathing coach just got here.

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