All sizes or pints?

I have always feared that one day I will have to make the choice between my undeclared hobby – pinting and my long life affair with nyama – it is hereditary.

Let us assume you are in the 99 percentile that form victims of the two most common diseases in urban Kenya; ulevi and chronic nyama dependency: what would you do if you were forced to choose between the two?

Would you give up pints or nyama?

As a long time symptom carrier of the said two diseases I have to say I am tentatively leaning towards giving up pints. For those who know me, please don’t fait just yet. I will explain.

Truth be told I just don’t see how I can approach a meal without nyama. I can voluntarily skip nyama during lunch lakini a whole day or two days, that’s just pushing it.

A meal without nyama is like a perfect chile….. Sura ni timamu; Tanye ni ile ya come and see; character is heavenly; lakini jugga jiggies ni MIA.

Yani no matter how good she looks there is just something missing. It’s the same thing with food, you can cook heaven on a plate but if it doesn’t have nyama as an ingredient…I will pass.

On the other hand I do not want to undermine the importance of pinting. I can never turn my back on a friend who has always been there through every trial and tribulation of my life.

You see there are times you feel a thirst that can only be quenched by a cold one preferebly at your local and at or near the suggested retail price.

When this thirst beckons one could even dive into a fresh water lake, swim across drinking gallons of H2O but the thirst for a cold one will be waiting for you on the other side of the lake.

Can you imagine sitting down with friends on a Saturday afternoon, the sun bright and shining, everyone is having the time of their life, exchanging storos, downing brews in between shotoz…

…then there is your sorry ass seated on the same table trying to hold back tears as you nurse an orange juice?

I swear that is when I tell my creator, please take me NOW!

And maybe when one gets kidoz and settles down or as we call it ‘handing in your balls and hammering the last nail’, these kinds of issues become easier to sort out.

But for now I just pray I don’t have to make this choice any time soon.

Enjoy your weekend peoples.

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18 thoughts on “All sizes or pints?

  1. Fao!!!

    Aish.. this is mad funny!! But the Bible says “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you!!”

    🙂

    Are you aware that he very often disguises himself in pints – ama if that’s the case u welcome him with both arms??

    And no, thi shas nothing to do with the first miracle of Jesus – they were using different grapes them days …

  2. The meat here tastes like crap most of the time and there is no tusker but I would have to stick with pinting if things got really narrow.

  3. I come from a family that is health concious so Nyama at most is twice a week and I have stuck to that so giving it up wouldn’t be such a big deal. As for the bottle it has never done me any harm except for the occassional hangover.

  4. Since coming stateside, my nyama consumption has reduced. It only picks up when I am home. More to do with flavour and cost. As for pinting, that’s just completely foreign territory to me.

  5. Ati bila Jugga Jiggies LOL!

    I do my nyake boiled, with pilipili sita na supu tano at Buffet. Sukuma kando.

    Pint thereafter.

    Trying to leave one of the two is like trying to separate a shadow from the man on a hot sunny day boss!!

  6. hahaha!ati holding tears as you nurse an orange juice!pole sana, but i wish i could feel you. but like egm, i dont drink!no thirsts! so clearly i would choose the nyama any day!although i also tend to lean towards vegetarianism here cause meat just doesnt taste right in the uk.

  7. It’s interesting that I’m reading this post while comfortably perched at the counter at the local (why am I blogging in a pub on a Saturday night, you ask? Extremely boring conversation! That’s what) cold Tusker in hand (a cold Pili Ice woulda been better, but screw EABL!) while awaiting my couple of muturas to arrive. So which would I give up? Aiii? The pints of course!

    Think about it, you’ve been eating nyama for like a decade and a half before discovering the pleasures of pints. Imagine the aroma of a mguu ya mbuzi wafting into your nose and knowing that you can’t partake of any of it? Completely Unthinkable!

    Anyway here come my muturas and kachumbari. Adios!

  8. Love the post…I think it’s been 10yrs since I gave up nyama…I’ll do the occasional farmers choice sausage but thats about it. Right now I’m on a pints ‘fast’…3 months and not missing it soooooooo…

  9. @ mwangi…I really pray the devil doesn’t disguise himself in pints, especially Amstelizis, Hainiz, Stella, Soco….okay the list is perhaps too long.

    @Aco, I agree the nyama here is useless. Yani you don’t have access to tuskers, pole. In most Kenyans-US hubs there is always a nyama / tusker joint.

    @Kirima, I think I will try to have a family habit when it comes to health consciousness. Until then let me indulge for future use.

    @KountryKodez, ati ‘separating a shadow from a man on a hot sunny day’ looks like you fit right in with the Keroro Krew.

    @mama shady, pia wewe you don’t catch. You and egm need to explain how this no drinking phenomenon works. As for vegetarianism…unless nyama starts growing on trees…I don’t see it.

    @farmgal, I will try it. Right now I am contemplating on taking a two weeks break from pinting…contemplating….

    @Archer, also a member of Keroro Krew I see. I see your case for nyama but on a sato afternoon blogging in a pub, I am betting this choice wouldn’t be as easy for you.

    @Quintessence, I tried to think about giving up pints for Lent but then I figured let me give up something that really means very much to me….trying. Besides a few friends are on ‘fast’ mode so it’s the opportune time for me not to worry about designated drivers.

  10. no way i can give up any. Nyama choma is not the same bila a pint. and a pint is a necessity in life. I live in Bmore, home of the famous Kamau. Asking me to give up nyake here is like asking me to give up mamas.

  11. 3N, I just never got into pint right from get go. I always did soda. And since last year even that is out, so it’s juice or water for me.

  12. @udi, now this would be a tough one – no pints, no meat, no mamas. There would be no point of living.

    @egm – i do juice too, lakini I sometimes add a colorless and very tasteful liquid promoting the orange juice to a screwdriver.

    @Unyc – I would do white meat lakini there is no part of Mbuzi that has white meat. I am still waiting for scientists to genetically alter mbuzi to have white meat, then I will make the switch.

    @Chatterly, i presume you do alcohol though.

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