Marriage, Sex & the African Language

Two posts in a day – I am on a roll today. A few questions ahead concerning marriage, sex & the African language. Check BBC Africa for an active discussion on the importance of African language.

1. Ngaahikania Ndenda – Is it important for our generation to continue the tradition of marriage. Is society ready to accept a single parent family? Are children disadvantaged if they are raised by a single parent?

2. Mdinyano – How important is sex or physical consummation of a relationship? This touches right on mwangi’s lively post on virtual love. Isn’t physical contact a necessity in any relationship?

3. African Language – How important is your native language to you? Do you think Africans who do not speak their mother tongue have sold out? Will you teach your children the language of your father / mother?

And what happens when the parents speak different native languages, which one do the children learn?

Your opinions please – mine are below (I have been accused of asking questions w / out answering them before)

1. Marriage is important and even our generation should continue this tradition. A family should constitute all figures that nature intended: children and two opposite sexed parents. I also believe though that there are structures in place in modern society to aide single parents in raising a child.

2. Quite important. Faith without action is dead; and so is a relationship without good sex.

3. My native language is my identity and I would definitely love to pass it to my little ones. And yes if you do not speak your mother tongue and have no interest in learning I believe you have sold yourself to the colonial devil!

And if the parents are of different heritage, you can settle on one of the parent’s language or at least agree on a common widely spoken African language such as Swahili.

16 thoughts on “Marriage, Sex & the African Language

  1. mimi na laptop twende!!!!!Yaani,love is making the world go round today ka-something. And to answer your question….

    At 1)- Marriage is important.And a man shall leave his father and mother and all that………

    2)Seeing I have answered in the affirmative above I have to say yes, to this one too. Mainly beause I believe that sex was intended for marriage.It’s like the primary reason. Wait don’t shoot me, I didn;t say it is the only reason people get married but it is way up there at number ONE. Yes, I know you don’t have to be married to have sex but if the world was the way God intended it to be. You get married to go forth and multiply and sometimes you will get thatmultiplication sign sometimes sex will just = sex. Nonetheless sex is important.Otherwise God would have called us all to be monks/nuns. And I can assure you that the one who wrote the song of solomons oin the Bible was no monk.

    3)I think your native language is important. What language do the children learn if both parents are from different tribes? Sii both languages. Kwani? These are kinds who are going to learn french/ german/ english/ some latin words and you are telling me they can’t spare two brain cells to learn to languages within their reach? My parents spoke different languages and had swahili in common- I speak all three and a few others- thanks to the numerous mbooches!!!!!!

  2. @3types of crazy – you are really crazy!

    I completely agree with you for putting sex at the top number ONE…lol

    and now that you mention it, kids should learn all languages.

  3. 1. I do still wonder on this one. Possibly not…
    2. I like this one!
    3. I know mine. Do not use it though, not even at home, possibly since we are a mixed race mixed ethnicity family. Lots of intermarriage.


  4. Haiya 3N I had not read your entry when I wrote mine = not copying but let me come back and comment..

  5. 1] I think marriage is important for most of the same reasons that you unleashed …

    2] Physical Contact is necessary BUT NOT sufficien on it’s own in ant relationship … love is all encompassing …

    3] It’s always a fine balance between what is desirable and what is expedient. My parents know more Kyuk than me, My grandparents more than my parents … and I possibly more than my kids!! Globalization is well and trully here …

  6. 1.Def. important,same reasons u mentioned.

    2.Uhm..important -yes, but shldnt be the foundation of a rship.

    3.My native language is quite important to me,it is who i am first ( an xxx and then a Kenyan and not the other way round)i dnt think those who dnt speak their language have sold out per se more like,its kinda sad they don’t deem it important enuff to want to learn/speak it.
    Of those with parents who speak diff languages,at the least learn the basics of each..not too much to ask for is it?
    I will def. be teaching my kids the language of their ancestors.

  7. No 1: marriage is important but I dont think it is necessary!

    No 2: is important and necessary!

    no 3: I think all chilren should learn their mother and father toungue!

  8. @Mwangi – even though globalization is here how comes some cultures such as our African ones are quicker to adopt what is foreign more than others like the Chinese?

    @betty, I think we should try to be Kenyan first and then Luo or Kikuyu or whatever. That is the main reason tribalism will always prevail if we identify ourselves first with our tribe.

  9. 1. Yes
    2. yes
    3. I dont know Kiuk… I cant speak it… I can understand it… I guess to you I have sold my soul huh?

    well, what can I say…. Opinions are like….. everyone has their own!

  10. Movie Buff;
    You missed part of my explanation on learning your language – if you do not have any interest whatsoever in learning kyuk then that’s when I can say you have sold your soul.

    but then again its just my opinion

  11. 1. Marriage-those who want should go for it, those who are married should NOT look at those who decide to stay UNmarried like they are crazy. there are enough freaks out there getting married for all the wrong reasons so…
    2. A relationship without sex is like drinking sugarless tea, and since i like my tea SWEET, kindly deliver the goodies or i show you the exit 🙂
    3. My kids will speak swahili english etc. if they want they can learn the other 42 languages za kenya. i cant help them there. and the fact i speak french german whatever doesnt mean i have sold out to any one.

  12. a) Marriage is good but the world is not ideal so at times its better no marriage than bad marriage.
    b) I believe you can have sex without marriage but you can’t have marriage without sex – What would be the point?
    c)It would be ideal if we could all speak our mothertounges well I know mine well enough but can’t speak it very well yet I can speak Kyuk quite well its all about the environment where you were brought up.

  13. “even though globalization is here how comes some cultures such as our African ones are quicker to adopt what is foreign more than others like the Chinese?”

    Survival for the fittest rules in all realms of life. The Chinese culture has remained because it is fitter than our own. It predates European Civilization, it predates even the coming of Christ. In a sense, asking why the chinese are not quicker to adopt foreign cultures is like asking why they don’t adopt their own culture????
    Did you know it’s because of teh Chinese that we do exams today? …hehe …

    Secondly, adoption of foreign elements is directly proportional to the level of openness of a country. We Africans are extremely hospitable, come one come all … and when they bring their potent pints and gold coins, were we ever going to resist such lures? We even sold our own people!! China is the direct opposite … largely closed, welcoming only what is beneficial to their ECONOMY but resisting attempts @ cultural assimilation …


    I actually agree with BETTY. I am first a Kikuyu, then a Kenyan. Tribal/lingual identity is crucial and inevitable for some people, depending on how one was raised.
    This manenos of tribalism are politically instigated and have little to do with identity … if they were … then we are all prejudiced in the other facets that constitute identity!

  14. betty, I didn’t mean to imply you are tribalist by asking one to be Kenyan first then tribal identity second.

    What I mean is that personally you can identify yourself as Kikuyu first but in the eye of a foreigner I definitely point out I am Kenyan. I will render my tribal affiliation irrelevant when it comes to Kenya’s growth as a country.

    “China is the direct opposite … largely closed, welcoming only what is beneficial to their ECONOMY but resisting attempts @ cultural assimilation …”

    Mwangi the above is exactly why Afirca has been exploited by the west.

    We can adapt western ideals and life styles but if it is at the expense of our own heritage in addition to dependency on the same Western nations; then I say we are enslaving ourselves.

  15. u mean am that behind??
    LOL at: Faith without action is dead; and so is a relationship without good sex!!
    It’s so true!

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