Ati What?

Are you listening? I said, A toothless bastard never asks for corn on the cob, always remember that!

Moving on I am still enraged by two unrelated events from this morning. This idiot who must have sucked on something to get his license has the audacity to beep at me coz I took 2 seconds longer to move barely 5 meters and wait 3 minutes for bumper to bumper traffic to give us another 3 meters to cover!

I tell you it is because of peeps like these that we probably don’t have cure for cancer! Follow me, imagine I was a cancer cure researcher and I was having a splendid morning sipping my espresso slowly and jamming to John Mayer while reorganizing theories of how gene therapy can be replaced by DNA manipulation of cancer infected cells.

Then out of nowhere the idiot hoots and disrupts my thinking throwing away a potential cure for cancer. Millions of people could have been saved but the selfish idiot wanted to get to work 4 minutes earlier!

The second early morning offender was an elder (mid 50’s I guess) white female who clearly doesn’t understand why God felt mercy on us and gave us common sense. I have always argued that I would rather you sneer at me than give me a half rehearsed smile and a nod while moving farther away from any possible human contact or engagement.

Jungu’s are notoriously good at this fake smile business. When is it that a meeting was called and people ordered to always smile even if they don’t mean to? I am sure black people were late to that meeting too coz you will seldom see a miiro give an ass fake smile. They keeps it real, jungus never do.


On the Kenyan front, I see Kibaki is getting closer to retaining his well deserved presidency. KANU and ODM are in more problems than a Paris Hilton, Britney Spears & Lindsay Lohan organized ‘5 keys to avoid humiliation’ seminar.

My pity goes out to those politicians who bought into Raila’s dream of becoming Kenya’s president, seriously OUCH!

Completely off topic but necessary, I am starting to strongly believe that there is life on another planet. It is quite selfish and snobbish of us to imagine that out of 400 billion galaxies there is not one planet that has life.

Can you imagine if aliens were already living with us and we weren’t aware? Instead of those weird looking creatures we see on movies they were indeed human like us? Like they have nicknamed their car Helen and have a blog with a mono private eye…? mwanamishale, care to verify you are human?

Anyway let me save you the mystery, I am 100% human. I bleed red blood, I like Amstelizi’s escorted by a shoto of soco-lime, and I have been a long term fan of a warm moist safe haven we earth-links like to call vagina.

Enjoy your weekend peoples!

20 thoughts on “Ati What?

  1. Those smiles! When you pass a black person on the street, the most you’ll get is a slight nod. Or maybe a wsup. But a jungu, if they make eye contact with you, they’ll smile. Otherwise they won’t even look your way.

    Na sasa hiyo mambo ya aliens, kwani you had an encounter with one?

  2. @Kirima, my mind is mostly blank thus the randomness of this.

    @egm, mambo ya aliens is coz I was reading somewhere about galaxies and planet and I was like, aai there is no way we are alone.

    @Archer, si ni Furahi Day and everyone needs to pick on archer…LOL. Lakini si kwa ubaya boss enjoy your weekend and update the private eye blog.

  3. I have a flaming arrow with your name on it. Kwanza this one has heat seeking, global positioning, Google Earth etc.

  4. lol Mocha, even me i was first attracted to the pink word!! 3N, mbona it wasn’t in red??

    Pole abt ure idiotic filled morning xperiences..fake smiles piss me off, i learnt to ignore them straight up.

    Abt aliens..i’ve always believed wako,how else do u xplain heartless peeps ka Osama and Mungiki>inhumane acts=unhuman=aliens!

  5. By your description of 100% human I am also human save for maybe the pink 5%. Damn! I mean I am a fan but do I get any? I have a project though!

  6. I always wonder about the aliens thingy …. yaani it would shatter a lot of beliefs that people hold … primely being that human beings are “superior” and “special” orders of creation … it’s prolly better if we are alone … we can’t even deal with the wars on earth … imagine interstellar wars … hmmmm … but on the other hand, I’d kinda like 2 see, not touch [yet], how mamas from other planets look like ….hmmmm **

  7. lol@ Raila’s dream……that boy has been dreaming for over 30 years, and still he has followers nakwambia

  8. That is some rant!!!
    U r mad!!

    Woii take care of u know who…heheee….in a gd way otherwise u r dead meat!! hehee

  9. @mocha & betty, hope your had a good weekend, ati you were first attracted to the pinky?? LOL

    and you know who else might be an alien, Paris Hilton! Seriously…wait you will see.

    @Bomseh now that the weekend has passed, how is the project coming? Did you get to support pinky in any way?

    @mwangi, can you imagine how earth mamas would get jealous if we found another planet that has a ratio of say 5 to 2 and they started recruiting earth jamaas. But they better be sawa alien chilez coz we are quite choosy.

    @kenyaonly, sometimes I wonder if his followers actually believe coz if they do then we have a good number of pro raila for president Kenyans that need a check up.

    @Unyc kwanza I have a lot of complaints but I won’t post them here. Let me gather my thoughts and see you @ Part III

  10. and I have been a long term fan of a warm moist safe haven we earth-links like to call vagina…!at least there is another fan on the other side of the universe!n the word verif. is haqer..hhmm..

  11. @ Boyflani …you are not alone as a a big fan of the dark alleys ,the slippery roads and misty highway called vagina boulevard..

  12. Bomseh that is quite the sad news. Have you considered looking at other pinky projects?

    My advise for whatever it’s worth, keep your sight on several pinky’s that way if one doesn’t pan out you can immediately change course and pursue another.
    Good luck my friend, Good Luck!

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