Dear Kenyan Women

In the words of Kenya’s president…”Let there be competition, and may the best East African women win.”

Kibaki’s comment came in response to a group of Kenyan women expressing fear ahead of the formation of the East African Community that Ugandan women were bound to steal away Kenyan Men. Story iko hapa.

And I tell you my dear Kenyan women, Fear you should! Not only have we started accepting applications from Kampala and Dar, there is also a little country known as Rwanda and we have already sent our best scouts to give us the ratios of Waru to Chips to French Fry.

Kenyan women should by now be digging potholes and placing authentic Mungiki members along – the about to be busy – Nairobi/Kigali highway. Maendeleo Ya Wanawake propaganda machine should already be in high gear. And I fear that this time it will take more than a trip to Beijing to dissuade us. Oh, and can you please, please improve your website, our spies have been complaining!

I would not like anyone to ever quote me on this, but I hear that a night with a Kigali beauty is the equivalent of 2-4 nights with some of our very talented. Watch this space in the coming months for confirmation on the above rumor.

Anyway good luck to all women. We promise to discriminate on good looks, sense of humor, generosity, financial ability and O.S.P level.

P.S. To all men we are organizing a 1 week seminar on ‘Exploring New Territory’ at the Hotel Des Mille Collines, Kigali. Contact any of the organizing members JM, Kirima or Modo. For those attending please bring your Overall Sexual Performance evaluation (k)IT.

26 thoughts on “Dear Kenyan Women

  1. this is wicked!!

    but I assure you that the Kigali risto is NOT a myth … having arrived, centuries ago from the north … hehe, from the general direction of Uhabeshi, whither the finest mamas in all the continet reside, some of that “usupuu” was bound to rub off …

    I am looking 4ward to the conference …

  2. Hehehehe…beware ladies…we be crossing the border! Dudes…where have you been? check my blogroll kwanza…hehhehe…been there done that!

  3. I have so laughed at this post! Nice one 3N!

    Kenyan women have only themselves to blame for the men seeking greener pastures elsewhere. What with daily talk of how we’re all dogs and pigs with morals of an alley cat. Si ata wao wameanza ku outsource kwa vile wanasema hatutoshelezi mahitaji yao? Big ups to Kibaki! He knows wsup!

    Rwandan women…what can I say that’s not already known? Those women be hottest! I wouldn’t know about their sexual prowess though. Si you fill us in? I have a pal who’s half Rwandan and half kao. And she got the best of both gene pools! Imagine that mix!

    Sasa wewe chief scout Methu, since you’ve already headed west, si you head further west and forge links with some female Rwandan bloggers?

    3N, I just have to ask, just how exactly does this have to do with global warming?

  4. ROTFLMAO!!! Wicked.
    Hotel Rwanda is only a stop over for me I once knew a Burundian lass who it suspect was in the business of smuggling baloons (in her blouse!)so I will be keeping a lookout across the border. Harakisheni.

  5. Kipusa, huh?

    3N;i got life membership to MYWO, as in for real lol.Uhm, enyewe even me i’ll ask,si we cross together? donno abt Rwandese dudes but if they be as fyne as Eritrean/Djibouti men..lets go already!!

  6. I heard this argument on Capital weeks ago and still don’t see what the excitement is about, seeing as it’s fair game i.e. goes both ways. Man I can see myself in the arms of a tall Rwandese. All’s fair in love and war…tujienjoy!!!

  7. @Betty & Quint: us jamaaz have booked the west. We can’t all be going to Rwanda & Burundi then we all meet there! It beats the essence of outsourcing! Why don’t you ladies go elsewhere, say…northwards, eastwards, north eastwards? I’m sure there are men there.

  8. @Archer, ama the chiquettas waje hapa Dar. It will reduce the traffic in Kigali by one exess….LOL

  9. @jm, good thing with Rwandese mamas, they have the fynness of our neighbors in the north lakini they have less maringo.

    @shataray, ati we cross the border together? Not yet, let us go and kagua the situation and bring back feedback. We have to be protective of our Kenyan women; it might be too dangerous out there for y’all.

    @Archer, let’s say the average temperature in Kigali goes up 2 or 3 degrees Celsius during our seminar due to heavy petting, isn’t that global warming?

    @Klara, yes there is some serious danger, ka ningekuwa wewe; I would be treating Kenyan jamaas like 3N very well. Otherwise watapotea!

    @Kirima, see you at the seminar. By the way I hear that that smuggler Burundian lass has an identical twin sister with identical set of balloons.

    @betty, wait for our report on Rwandese jamaas before you venture there, our analysts are busy right now….give us kiido 4 years.

    @Quintessence, “All’s fair in love and war” true but would you risk war for love? We Kenyan men are very peaceful as history has shown, so why risk anything?

    @Archer & Inexes: si we assign akina Quint & Betty to Uganda first, we don’t want them to have to travel too far, we care too much. And then once they are done with Idi Amin’s relaz we can think of sending them to Dar…

  10. *Wekaaing that swit babyface na coy smile*

    Eish Farmgal, si a dude can try…?

    @Archer – Aliniambie niwache kuwa mExcess – yaani i look for only one blogger damsel & stick hapo hapo…. LOL

    @3N – Ug tena? Si those guys will ‘maul’ them vibaya?

  11. @inexes…listen to farmgal choose one damsel or at least make sure if you choose more than one they don’t know about each other 🙂

    I had forgotten that UG jamaaz could end up spoiling for us. Lakini I am comforted because I know the modern Kenyan man has learnt the trades and tricks of operating a Kibaki-Age damsel. We are better than ever!

  12. before I even comment on your post, Obbo has embarrassed me, he is an editor for crying out loud! he cannot seriously say that this is an issue?

  13. cross over from kenya to burundi..lakini i hear ugnada gals are the best…all the same, its crss over kabisa!

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