Donkey Daipers

Being that my business in Limuru heavily depends on donkey transport, I have to now increase my overhead cost since our enlightened Mayor has decided to require donkeys to wear daipers. I am also eagerly awating the council worker who makes the rounds to show wananchi ‘how to properly don a daiper on a donkey without a visit to your local dispensary’.

On another note and unrelated to donkeys or daipers; guys please try this at one point in your life; buy a pack of cd’s say on Friday night, then the next morning kido 8 am go to the same store and buy milk, bread etc, 2 energy drinks, 2 more packs of cd’s and extra strength Advil.

Then the next evening go to the same clerk and ‘accidentally’ drop a stash of rubber banded cash (I recommend wrapping the stack with a heavy bill and inserting many lighter bills in the middle for the thick effect). Make sure you apologize and look embarassed for ‘showing off’ the stash. Then encourage her small talk and nonchalantly ask for phone number. My friends, this is a guaranteed solution to any jamaaz Bilaz Train dilemma.

Finally, what do 26 Jumbo jets, 10,000 guests and $128 million have in common? ONE Indian Wedding! Believe it or not this is how much an Indian billionaire spent for his sons wedding. I was in total disgust as I read this and I wholeheartedly believe this is irresponsible and unacceptable. Yes it is his money but I insist that no matter how rich one is, you cannot justify spending that much money on a wedding. It is a slap on the face of all humanity.

And will this week EVER END??

27 thoughts on “Donkey Daipers

  1. yes it will…………………………………..end. after you have found those diapers lol

  2. get our mayor to start up a blog, I have a few things I would like to tell him. Alisuma?anasuma? hakusuma? yaani, he sat donw and came up with this “clever” idea- someone give the man a pay rise.He is obviously under-paid. Seriously, somethings you think in your head and that is where they MUST stay- in the head.Tell mR. Mayor- he verbalised his thoughts and he shouldn’t have.

  3. With the rate they have been announcing bans and whatnot it has become perilous to walk about the city centre, you may find yourself hoisted and thrown atop one of the green number plated, ill maintained conveyances the kanjo calls motor vehicles and get tetanus instanteneously on contact with the surfaces within and without it as your are ferried to Central before being taken to court to answer to charges of bearing thin paper bags to ferry your measly lunch of fried potatoes. Then now donkeys and nappies, someone needs to get a life! Perhaps them picking up after their donkies would be a more practical idea!! Gawd!! **shaking head as he tries to stem foam issuing from corners of his mouth**

  4. The week is dragging..but it’ll end!!

    lol Aegeus i feel you dehydrated..wacha foam at corners of the mouth..go drink!!

    3TC..aiiii mara forte!

    3N am not even going to try and imagine you behind a punda valisharing it a Nappy..WaKenya wamekosa kazi..first paperbags are illegal now donkeys have diapers??

  5. two more days left in this week. seems that the city council by-laws have just been discovered and there is a sudden need to implement all of them ASAP so as to seem like they are working of course we all know different right?

  6. Donkey Diapers….TIHIHIHIHI!

    BT cure….ROFLMAO! Please tell me this is from experience.

    Wedding Expense…..WTF!!???!!

  7. Donkey diapers? It’s like belling the proverbial cat. Kazi ngumu.

    BT solution – Are you serious? Where to keep all the accumulated condoms? Alafu how did you find out ana after how many stores?

  8. @3typesofcrazy, the mayor need NOT to think of such things in his head. And what about the council members who sat down and discussed this?

    @aegeus, I swear I would be irrate if I was facing a judge coz of my chips paper bags. I understand there is global warming and excitement for new laws but there has to be some logic used.

    @betty, the only thing am doing behind an ass is coming from behind and TRUST ME it’s not a donkey’s ass. LOL

    @gishungwa, which two days here its still Wednesday…I hear kanjo is working better than before and streets in Nai are cleaner. Nevertheless it is ridicolous to expect people to carry dirty donkey daipers!

    @mocha, BT solution is not from experience but I am still standing by it as 100% guaranteed.

    @Bomseh, the CD’s you dispose coz once she ventures into your castle you have to display evidence that you have been a regular player since your teens. It doesn’t hurt to have some earrings ‘randomly’ on your bedside table.

    On the store, you need to identify one with ‘hospitable’ clerk. And do no diversify, Specialize…keep focus on One and execute!

  9. I’ll remember to always be focused and in control. Ok, according to you teacher, identify target/zero in/specialize, focus, then execute/chapa ilale. Nice one. I’m learning things up in here.

  10. I will be the first to disagree with your theory on the cost of that wedding. The only people who can claim to be considerate are those who can afford a wedding but go to the DC instead.

    If he spend $128 million and he is worth over $1 billion, then as a percentage, he only spent 10% of his networth. But we all know that a lot of people spend $30k on weddings when they are not even worth twice that much.

    We work hard everyday to enjoy the money we make. And they are entitled to spend as much as they want if a large wedding is what they want. A lot of stuff in this world is extravagance. We cant condemn one person for doing it yet we all partake in it

  11. @Bomseh, na ikilale it is your manly duty to ilalisha tena.

    @Udi, points taken. My question to you is, if you had the wealth i.e $1 billion dollars would you spend as much on a wedding? It’s the same discussion we had over sweet 16 b-days costing $1 million. Even if you have the money I believe its wasting.

  12. I would definetly spend if to me, I deemed a wedding that big to be important.

    The only reason I criticized the sweet 16 was because the kids there were arrogant, snobbish and basically belittled anybody who had no money. Not because they had big bashes.

    What people should not do, is say that the money was a wastage considering that they earned the money and they are spending it on their own happiness. So $128 million be damned. Lets get married.

  13. Udi, maybe its a matter of personal opinion because I don’t see myself ever spending such money on a wedding…but it might be a matter of I don’t have such kind of money.

  14. Donkey daipers is the craziest idea I have heard yet from these councils who seem to have become proactive all over. Maybe a marketing opportunity for those people in Limuru is to start selling donkey daipers. Slogan ‘Nappies for your Ass’s Ass’ 🙂

  15. Donkey daipers is the craziest idea I have heard yet from these councils who seem to have become proactive all over. Maybe a marketing opportunity for those people in Limuru is to start selling donkey daipers. Slogan ‘Nappies for your Ass’s Ass’ 🙂

  16. On the daipers story its very ironical,i mean how is one supposed to place them,i think they should also invent protective gear for the users,those things can really kick.

  17. @Kirima, LOL @ ‘Nappies for your Ass’s Ass’ 🙂

    @ Lukas, it might bring a ressurection to plastic and steel companies as demand for protective gear for donkey daipering would skyrocket. Only in Kenya!

    @inexes, I am telling you they are not antics. I wish I had your bank account; I would put some serious money on this particular BT solution. Try it and let me know if it fails.

    @Q, take note and never fall for any of these BT solutions. Chilez are too lucky or they have to do is decide and their BT stops immediately.

  18. lol! Si that just carry on like dog owners. Walk behind the donkey with some gloves and bags to put the nini in.

  19. That’s an outrageous ammount of money to spend on a wedding I mean Bill Gates is said to be the richest dude on the planet and he spends $100m on AIDS research. The donkey diapers those are a pipe dream how does the council expect that to e enforced

  20. On the nappies I have to agree with Mwas. What about the stray dogs? Watatiwa nappy pia?

    And on the $128m wedding, I agree with Udi. If you have the money, and you can comfortably afford something that lavish, and you think it’s worth spending that much on a wedding, then why not? Si pesa ni zangu? Si it’s my happiness? Compare that to those who have pre wedding fund raisings so as to fund very lavish weddings.

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