Who’s Your Daddy?

I was thinking the other day as I was listening to Tanya Stephen’s song – A Little White Lie (some lyrics below):

You got your daddy’s smile, you got his eyes
I feel my heart breaking everytime you cry
I’m gonna burn in hell, but its no sacrifice

I see your daddy, in everything you do
And if you could talk, I’ll bet you’ll talk like him too
but he can’t be your daddy, I hope you understand
the man who thinks he’s your father
is a much better man (why then tesa him?)

everybody keeps saying
“The baby looks kind of light”
and I tell them that every newborn baby looks the same
while I’m praying to God, “Please make your color change”
the emotions on his face when he’s looking at you

I couldn’t tell he aint your papa even if I wanted to
Oh God, and I love him, really I do, if he ever found out it
would kill me too, now I’m caught between a rock and a
really hard place (
oh, really?) I’d give anything to keep that smile on his face….

Long story short – you have put in 18 years of hard work to raise another man’s baby and the woman who promised to love You till death did you part; already did you apart kitambo sana. On your kid’s 19th birthday or when the chap is graduating from college you find out the truth….he / she is actually your best friend’s child.

What to do? What to do?

And I hope everyone is aware that this goes on more than society would like to acknowledge. Can you imagine how strongly women would oppose any law that would require DNA proof of parenthood!

In fact do NOT be surprised that your old man – the mzee you have called papa since you were an infant might actually not be your real father.

And I don’t want you to cause havoc at home and demand a DNA test, just let us know what you would do if above scenario happened. As for me and my family even before the pregnancy hits the second trimester all relevant samples will be at the doctors.

Call it lack of trust; I call it a guarantee on my 18 + years investment.


17 thoughts on “Who’s Your Daddy?

  1. Which womean will agree to you taking DNA like soz. Wewe unaleta mchezo. If you cant trust the one you’re with, you really should not be with them.
    I know it happens but eish dude!

    i intend to trust the one am with, just that with DNA i can be sure my trust is well placed, lol

  2. “the man who thinks his your father, is a much better man”- And somehow I am finding that sweet.

    how sweet can it be when the better man is living a lie he doesn’t know

    Above story happens and not just in that song and the “gold digger ” song. I know of two stories oooohhhhhhh so close to home that tis happened. In the first case, the kid sorry he was a man by the time he was tld, this is not baba, dude went OFF THE RAILS but he got straight again (I only wished his parents now the real ones, didn’t decide that our house was the best place for him to get over his shock- he was a terror to be around!iiiisssshhhh), his real dad drunk himself blind (literally!)It was a case of his drunk mpaka his asking “nani amezima taa” kumbe hehehehehehe.
    Ohhhhhhhhh, I could do a post right here. The dude who had played daddy for 18 years as it were, just took it a day at time, they had five other kids to think about.

    there is no taking it a day at a time, mtoto arudishwe kwao and a refund issued ASAP. and what would posses someone to have a total of 6 kids? the family can’t even fit in a sedan

    Scenario two…………….hehehehehehehe, one for Jerry Springer. We don’t talk about that one at home, you may be seen to be siding with one party or the other.

    It does happen.

    it happens a lot

  3. It happened to me two months ago..my ex who we are still in good terms claims that she is pregnant with my child..I bet my balls “It wasn’t me” juu am an expert in the kalenda thing…I neither want to raise some Xhosa/Zulu guy’s kid nor some dumb Zulu/Xhosa guy(yes they are knuckleheads,ask Bomseh) to raise my kid…

    Nimechanganyikiwa, nimechanganyikiwa …What to do, what to do?

    Run, Pilato, RUN!

  4. Pilato LOL @expert wa kalenda.
    3n, they say that the mother is the only one who truly knows the father of her babies and more oft than not she takes such secrets to the grave or are confessed on death bed.

    i jokingly asked my mother once and i could see her sigh of relief when she realized i was playing….lol.

  5. Dude, you have never heard over 80% men raise other men babies? Its only the woman who really knows who father is and thus the opposiotion to taking DNA test!!!

    80%? that’s way too high. i guess to be equal a man should make sure that at least two fathers out there are raising his kids, ama?

  6. Pilato pole. Kalenda expert heh? just wait you get a damsel unregular manenos! utashangaa! you are there counting the 18th day unapata SmS “ninunulie tampons regular! kuna vile kumeharibika!” LOL

  7. Tis not funny to discover you have been cuckodoled (sp.) but that happens but the question is who is a daddy the sperm donor or the one who raises the kid?
    @3TOC, I’m scared to ask where you were raised.

  8. @kirima-Looooooooooooooooooool, atii you are scared to ask where I was raised. As in which bush ama? Lets see, the first ten years- Kampala, the next ten years Nairobi………the next ten years mmhhh, how do I say this Nairobi- J’burg-Dar- Nairobi- Oxford-Liverpool-Dar ……………..when does the raising stop. Would you say that my dad is still raise me?

    @3N- Maybe it is easy for me to say coz I am not in that fix but I would rather call the better man, my daddy. Anyone can be a father- it takes a special man to be called “paps”

  9. In Wolof “the kids of your sister are your kids”, but your brother’s kids are just distant relatives.

    Even in ancient Egypt, the King was borne of the King’s sister not the King’s own child. It was the only sure way to maintain lineage.

    One of my relas was married to a black African. So she gets pregnant and gives birth to a white kid. Well, it was not funny. The man was livid. Unfortunately, he became physically abusive to both his wife and this child. They later divorced, but the mother and child have never recovered from that abuse.

    Now me, I will swear by my man, and not cheat on him. If he doubts me, he had better sneak behind my back and do a DNA test, coz I am not doing one voluntarily.

  10. I hate to be the one who asks this, but someone tell me this, if you know you have been faithful why would you refuse to take a DNA test? Just to put your significant other at rest. I hear you at “he should trust me” but the fact that he is asking for one, mean obviously “he and NOT YOU” have an issue so clear it for him. If it comes out and the child is his……..all that happens is h sleeps better. And so do you, coz you just proved you don’t play away.

    Would I agress to a DNA test? Yaani I will give you all samples if you want.Maybe there is something I am missing about taking a DNA test. Is there?

  11. Pilato haiiiiya dude, enyewe hapo pia mimi am changanyikiwad for you..ebu do a post on that loool aki, then with nice details we can all think up healthy advice.

    wewe mambo of DNA uache…a father is the man who loves a child and raises him as his own..regardless of whether or not DNA ni moja!!

  12. @Pilato
    LOL ati expert on da calendar thing?? Care xpand that?
    Pole lakini
    DNA could get many Murdered, so wacha tu ikae vile iko..Besides what’s da need 4 ruinin ur Life by demaandin DNA! LOL

  13. I don’t think I would require DNA. Let me put this in swahili, wazazi wa kitambo walikuwa wanajua sana kufananisha. So I look like my dad 100%. Others say that if you live with someone for a long time you start looking alike. That could also be true. Lakini the truest thing here courtesy of Betty is that a father is the man who loves a child and raises him/her as his own regardless of whether or not DNA ni moja. I have a step child with my ex and I believe that had I not left Kenya I’d still be raising the child as my own.

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