Modern Day Miracles

Part 1: Bluetooth Technology

Wiki it all you want and then attempt to explain to me how my cell phone is able to locate another cell phone and then start talking and exchanging files right in front of me with no shame.

And these files they exchange, have you ever seen them passing in the air or gotten hit by one as it was moving across the room?…I just hear a ‘beep’ and my cell phone tells me that so and so has just sent you an audio file – ‘open to play’.

So I open only to find out that these two cell phone somehow went all the way to River Road and picked up a bootlegged copy of My Dear Nduku and then translated it to ‘cell phone language’ and now they are swinging their hips trading Nduku for ‘Get Silly’ by V.I.C and Soulja Boy.

the dance floor silly
the ladies gon feel me
the fellas in the back and they twissin up a philly

get silly(8x)

the dance floor silly
the ladies gon feel me
the fellas in the back and they twissin up a philly
(2x)

I don’t know if you noticed but a Very Idiotic Child (V.I.C) and Soulja Boy just requested us to repeat “get silly” Eight times. As in get silly (1), get silly (2,) get silly (3 times) get silly (4)….8 times!

I cannot repeat ‘get silly’ more than 3 times in one sitting. I would have to get some rest then come back and try the 4th one the next day. What do these shewdren want with us!?

And what is “twissin up a philly”? I hope its nothing like “superman da hoe” by Soulja Boy’s earlier hit – I want to explain what it means but I have neither the stomach nor the moral indecency to do so, you can read the explanation here.

Please keep all the young people and their ‘role models’ in serious prayers.

Anyway getting back to the miracle of Bluetooth technology… what prompts inventors to discover such seemingly random technology? I don’t know about you but thoughts of ‘pairing two devices’ in my mind always end up in gutterville.

I am more likely to think of how to help Angelina Jolie cope with her acute case of Exotic Adoption Addiction Disorder.

EAAD as it is known in Hollywood inner psych circles, is a relatively common disease among Hollywood celebrities whereby one yearns to fill his mansion with Ethiopian and Cambodian children and give them weird names like Mshuto, Ime, Ponyoka or Zahara.

So much for sanity…good weekend folks and remember to tip your bartenders!

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9 thoughts on “Modern Day Miracles

  1. ahahahahaha @ Mshuto, Ime, Ponyoka or Zahara.

    Man the young’ns is music is at historic low, i sometimes think its my age showing, but damn sometimes i feel like i’m in the real live idiocracy.

  2. what that boy called soulja emits out of his mouth is NOT music. I hope he stayed in school.

    On the bluetooth, the real miracle will be when I use it. So when one bluetooth meets another- are they blueteeth?

  3. Despite myself, I like that V.I.C. joint. I know, I know.
    Funny – Very Idiotic Child.
    Twistin’ up a Philly – rolling up a Philly blunt, perhaps?

  4. me i like pairing devices. there is even technology of sending electricity wireless-ly, just do not hang about in its path.

    those children i shall deal with squarely in a post i shall do….someday.

  5. I am waiting for the bluetooth technology that will enable pairing of Bomseh in south with sweetie in Nairobi.now that will be real technology.

  6. Ah, jino samawati is good stuff. Great of pairing my phone to the comp and going online through it. And that transfering of files too.

    As for the noise, the less said, the better.

    Ah, those names! There should be an EAAD Anonymous set up in Hollywood.

  7. Lol, you are as hilarious as ever! Habari ya maisha?

    Heard Bluetooth is the rave in Saudi Arabia where teens of the opposite sex have no way to hook up, and cannot be seen together in public. So to tafuta random girls, they turn on their bluetooth and find her… thing is what then? coz if you are found together, you will be chapwad by the morality police!

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