I am a corrupt Kenyan, are you?

Like many Kenyans, you will not find me in either the Anglo leasing or Goldenberg records of corrupt individuals, but I am corrupt. I have bribed and I have sought and received favors to avoid delays in civil processes, cut corners to eliminate inconveniences and once bribed to keep a drive to pass by Kilimani police station instead of going in for a booking.

The kind of corruption I refer to is the day-day (traffic cops) or once in a while instances (city council lines etc) where you will find yourself faced with a chance or need to cut a corner or two to expedite a process or avoid an inconvenience.

Would you rather bribe a cop a few hundred shillings or go to a police station on a Friday night to put 7K bond on untrue inflated charges? And knowing very well that you will probably lose a working day and possibly still end up paying some kind of fine to the court or incur legal fees to get the charges against you expunged?

Or if your child was qualified on merit score to attend a National high school but he / she was cut off because of the quota system yet you know ‘someone’ who would assist to get him / her placement, would you not take that opportunity?

Don’t we know ‘someone’ who can help you – even if not for monetary bribes in return – get a passport, license, permit processed faster than the normal procedure? Not to mention to guarantee that none of your documents will go missing in-between submission and your inquiry of whether they have been processed.

In the above and numerous other scenarios; I will be honest and say that I most likely to choose the easier way out.  This is not to say that I am eager to bribe or always seek favors but the way the Kenyan system works it behooves you to play to the tune of corruption channels.

Ask any business person and find out if it is possible to carry out business and government transaction without calling favors and or bribing for services.

I do acknowledge that not all Kenyans are corrupt or would succumb to corruption but I feel a good number would and does participate in the practice that keeps zero tolerance further away from reach.

Are you a corrupt Kenyan, are you corruptible?

24 thoughts on “I am a corrupt Kenyan, are you?

  1. What promoted this post? What do you want? Who has bribed you?(share the money)

    We can not calling “knowing someone”- calling a favour?

  2. I am guilty as charged…recently bribed KES 500.00 to get my PIN, there is no way I was queing those lines let alone the jasho smell in that building

  3. Mhmm! I plead the fifth… oh wait, does that apply in Kenya or do I have to bribe someone to keep from having to incriminate myself?

  4. It’s very difficult not to be a corrupt Kenyan coz the urgency of certain situations call for one to take the easiest and swiftest way out. Think of a fellow who had just come from buying medicine for his ailing mother. In his state of absent mindedness, he crossed a road vibaya and the next thing you know, kanjo have descended on his diabs for jaywalking. What to do?

    I try as much as possible not to bribe. When I applied for my National ID card, I refused to bribe the jamaas there who said they could “speed up” the process. I ended up getting it 9 months later. Same thing happened with my Driver’s Licence. Lakini pia nimelipa bribes saa zingine, like at Central Police Station when I went to report a stolen phone (the Penguin) you have to pay 1000 bob up-front so that they can give it priority and a further 1000 bob when they actually recover the phone. They never did.

  5. For most, it all starts at a tender age. Give me your share of slices or I’ll tell mom that you didn’t attend school today. That is how it all starts. You grow up learning that favours are not free. We are all corrupt in one way or the other. Guilty as charged. International Bribery I must confess.

  6. I thought I wasn’t corrupt until you described the scenario about the kid and the national school. I would so do that in a heartbeat, so I guess I am corruptible….sad! Oh yeah and the bit about ‘knowing someone’ sigh!

  7. I have bribed and I had to otherwise I dont know what I would be today.

    First, it took me three years to get an ID. I signed affidavits, sweared in a court, visited several chiefs even my grandpaz chiefs in an attempt to get one. It never worked. I even considered to say I was homeless. Yaani chokora. oil myself at Grogon and carry some shit (real shit here) and threaten I needed one. I was that despertate. I finally gave up and had to. I had to. I had to.

    Next was a DL. I didnt have time to go to a Driving school. Got a DL for 7k

    Then came passport. Got a birth cert for a k. then the passport for a fee of like 10k.

    Am thinking even a marriage cert, I might end up paying for one. Like a dude friend did. Anything for a short cut to avoid the frustrations I went through to get an ID.

  8. I didnt admit to this to incriminate my behind. Just a testimony that when you hands are tied by bureaucracy and corrupt officials, you do anything. Thats what a state we have become. There are sooooo many cases we sitting on a time bomb. From courts, parliament and many other government offices and even in corporate world, we are rotten!

  9. Back when I was naive, I got arrested for not having a safety belt. At 8 AM I got off the matatu, and followed the Police. I went to the Cop Station and got locked in a Hot Tin Oven to cook with 30 other people. Till 10:30 AM I had a lapse of normalcy and mind control and gave them my Only weeks old National ID, NOT MY UNI I.D. That was the beginning of hell.

    I survived hell. Scarred. Let’s say I left the High Courts at 5 PM after paying a grand total of Ksh. 200 and spending 4 hours in an 8ft by 6ft cell with 26 other inmates sharing all manner of smells in the dimly lit fire-escape of a hell-hole.

    So now, I learned. It’s hard for me to respect guys who will put you in and HAND-CUFF YOU, Parade you in the NAIROBI LAW COURTS for not wearing a seat-belt to College.

    I’ll let you GUESS where I stand on your question.

  10. Just dropping by.Btw, you website have great content!

    In Only 3 Minutes, You Can Quickly And Easily Crank Out A Killer Cover Letter That Is Guaranteed To Have Your Phone Ringing Off The Hook With Hot Job Interviews And Top Job Offers… Without Writing One Word!

  11. Guilty on the following counts
    1.Got my passport in under 24hrs
    2.never did the driving test
    3.Bribed coppers on Valley Road a couple of times

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