White Girls against Obama

In every major erection there are sore winners and sorry losers.

***

Until recently the black man in America has not had gourmet picks from the world of white girls, instead he has been restricted to a specific genre of white chics.

If you are unfamiliar with the genre I speak of; take sometime in your life and travel to the great US Midwest. Once there, visit any predominantly white night club and observe how American brothas and their African counterparts are drawn to large white chics like Somali pirates are drawn to vessels.

It is a phenomenon that anyone who has lived in a US college town will attest to.

The phenomenon is obviously looked down upon by sistas and for good reason. Sistas see it as a blow to their integrity that a brotha would leave a booty-full, intelligent, God fearing and respectful black lady and opt for a white chic. Sistas will quickly brandish such a brotha with ‘sellout’ or ‘not strong enough to handle a black woman’ label.

I simply see it as a case of easy access to the surest p*ssy that can manifest itself into an irreversible addiction if it goes unchecked.

The Obama Dilemma and how it affects the plight of fat white chics:

A euphoric hope is in the air and white chics are welcuming it with open arms, letting the waves of ecstatic pleasures bring change and looong awaited hope to their sexual lives. It is truly a new dawn in interracial sexual relations.

***

I am glad that Obama won and I cannot congratulate and thank him enough for giving DC the most anticipated inauguration, related parties and drunkenness in presidential history.

The festivities will be so grand that the DC mayor and council have agreed to extend drinking hours to 24/7 during the entire period. Do not quote me on this, but I believe weed and prostitution will also be legal in DC, Virginia and Maryland metro area during that period.

For good measure though, check with your county official prior to getting drunk, getting high and paying for a Ronaldo caliber prostitute and serving time in the slammer for most of Obama’s first administration.

Moving on…

Pundits have been drooling and raving over every move by Obama, analyzing the shit out of Hillary Clinton’s role as Secretary of State and wondering out loud how Bill Clinton can stay so close to the White House with so much free time and not stain another dress.

What the pundits are missing to point out is the negative impact Obama’s success is having on fat white chics. Because of Obama, brothas are getting love from all kind of white chics including the hip ‘I could really use a meal’ kind that usually just have ‘a black friend’‘.

We are talking here of Café lattes, Chihuahua in a Dolce bag type of chics. The same chics whose collection of novels just got diversified with Obama’s ‘The Audacity of Hope’ and 3N’s soon to be released ‘How to woo an Ivy League Black Man for Dummies & Blondes’.

Those are the girls who are now dipping into the once reserved for fat white girls pool of dark knights in shining armor wielding long weapons of mass destruction. Those Obama girls are ruining a system that has not been perfect but has worked well for white fat chics.

Someone needs to urge the Obama-Biden administration not to ignore the plight of the white fat chics. We need to come together and work towards an America where every girl, white or black, large and small, get their fair share of brotha love.

How to properly UnScrew…

a tightly screwed nut…don’t look at me like that, I am only passing instructions to the ladies.

Force. There are several ways to increase the amount of force, or torque you can apply. First of all, be sure you have the correct size screwdriver. A screwdriver that is too big or too small can strip at the head of your hole. If the screw head is sticking up, you may be able to grasp it with vice grips, and turn it that way.

If the screw is not sticking up, try placing the screwdriver in the slot and pressing down while grasping the upper, square part of the shaft of the screwdriver with your vice grips. You may be able to apply enough force to turn the screw that way.

Finally, even though it sounds counter-productive, try to tighten IN, the screw. If you can move the screw at all, move it back and forth, again and again and eventually it will come free.

Impact. Be careful that the work area surrounding the screw will take the impact gently before trying these methods. Occasionally, a wrapped hammer inserted in the slot is enough to break in as long as the adhesion is ample to allow the screw to turn.

A better method yet is to hammer in the screwdriver while you are turning it. You can buy a gadget called an impact screwdriver for this purpose, as well. It is designed to rotate the screwdriver bit when the handle is hammered in. This works because the tip is being forced into the slot while turning, back and forth, again and again.

Last resorts. If none of these methods work, and you simply HAVE to get the screw out, there are a few other things you can try. These things might temporarily destroy your work area, but should leave the screw hole intact so you can replace it with a new screw when the need arises.

Palin does Washington

I have been meaning to blog on various ongoing interesting topics but and never getting to it. Instead I keep on piling up on ‘i have to blog about this’ archive that I hardly ever remember.

The one story though that has stuck (besides hurricane IKE devastation and the ongoing fire sale on Wall Street) is the US Presidential race, America’s defining moment.

And hence Palin does Washington…of course not literally, at least not yet!

Americas Sweetheart, Obamas Nightmare!
America's Sweetheart, Obama's Nightmare!

Anyway besides Palin, there are several reasons the Democratic Party might lose in this year’s presidential election. And giving credit where its due, that was a gutsy call by old and wise McCain who shocked everyone and tapped Hot Alaskan Governor Palin as the VP, so far the risk is paying off for McCain.

I just don’t know how settled anyone can be to know that Ms. Palin could be the US President in case anything was to happen to John. Would she be ready?

Perhaps the most important factor that will have Obama working on another memoir instead of scheduling meetings with the Chavez’s of this world, is his party’s continued lack of the Testicular Fortitude needed to counter the Republican political machinery.

Observing the electoral process in US Presidential elections it seems to me that the democratic party is always being out hustled and out muscled.

Case in point, in 2000 and 2004, Al Gore and John Kerry respectively chocked to the drumbeats and chest thumping of George ‘I can’t believe I am President’, Walker Bush and the Karl Rove beat down.

My unsolicited advise to Senator Obama is to look deep into his campaign strategy and find how hope and change can turn into political counter Jabs to swing back at the Republicans. Because if for a moment Obama and his supporters think they have seen the worst of dirty politics from Republicans….well they will have another 4 years to hope for change.

**In other Unrelated News**
  • Please do not ask your mother what DSL means – instead google Angelina Jolie DSL, SMH
  • And in Chelsea News, the table shows Chelsea at the top. Liverpool will self destruct as usual and ManU is doing its best impression of an early foundation for failure.

Last but not least, a short story about a Playa by Birth not by training:

This guy dumped his girlfriend on Valentines day and gave flowers and gifts to a new girl the same day! Not to mention that this was in standard 8!

True Story.

Good week, good people.

Sugar Mummies, Cougars and MILFS

I have always read with little interest the phenomenon of older rich women going for younger guys. Cougars as they are now being referred to have become a viable option for younger men dealing with PMS (Permanent Money Shortages).

respected cougar, Demi Moore of the Ashton Kucher fame

As good as this new fad sounds; I am approaching with caution as I have never been the kind to jump into every new fad. I never got an ipod, didn’t join the infamous Kimunyaing (alleged thievery) pyramids, and I am yet to trade in my 1pac for killer ABS. I am a simple man with simple goals, I give my job the same effort they give on my paycheck. I love long walks on the beach, candle light dinners, romantic cruises, the opera….all in the deepest of my dreams.

A cold beer a day to keep worries away, a healthy diet and great sex. Just the simple necessities that a man needs to live a full life!

But what happens when life does not cooperate? How is a young man supposed to deal with consistent money shortages while the price of gas, movie tickets and even the price of one packet of Hostess insist on heading the wrong direction at an alarmingly intolerable rate?

How does one infuse life into an account that is surely heading to the UN for donations?

***

I have thought of relieving a bank of their deposits – a premature withdrawal – if you may,  but I could not guarantee that it wouldn’t land me in an 6 x 6 steel bar resort for the permanently incarcerated. I don’t know who fancies spending their Sunday evenings humming….

nearer my God to thee, nearer to thee’

and

“What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! ”…

…as one larger than life Tyrone aka ‘Life with No chance of Parole’ readies himself to convert someone’s son into an ‘ExVirgin’?

Jesu Mwathani, shindwe kabisa! (Jesus the Governor, defeat totally!)

So now I have settled into looking for a rich beautiful plastic surgically enhanced cougar, the nice MILF type. I will do my best to vumilia (tolerate?) strokes with her long enough until I can move the decimal point a few more spaces to the left.

I am accepting CV’s, photos, Facebook webpage and contacts for any lady who fits the bill. Please send contacts to milfs43N@gmail.com.

I have also signed up for Botox Anonymous meetings since I figure if a lady is dumb enough to insert fat from her own ass into her lips and cheeks for fuller lips and a permanent plastic smile – and pay shit loads of money for it – that my friends, is the lady of my dreams.

Ass kissing aside, I am ready to start on this project and show dust to gas prices. In the words of New York’s philosopher – 50 Cent – I better get rich or die f*cking…