Donkey Daipers

Being that my business in Limuru heavily depends on donkey transport, I have to now increase my overhead cost since our enlightened Mayor has decided to require donkeys to wear daipers. I am also eagerly awating the council worker who makes the rounds to show wananchi ‘how to properly don a daiper on a donkey without a visit to your local dispensary’.

On another note and unrelated to donkeys or daipers; guys please try this at one point in your life; buy a pack of cd’s say on Friday night, then the next morning kido 8 am go to the same store and buy milk, bread etc, 2 energy drinks, 2 more packs of cd’s and extra strength Advil.

Then the next evening go to the same clerk and ‘accidentally’ drop a stash of rubber banded cash (I recommend wrapping the stack with a heavy bill and inserting many lighter bills in the middle for the thick effect). Make sure you apologize and look embarassed for ‘showing off’ the stash. Then encourage her small talk and nonchalantly ask for phone number. My friends, this is a guaranteed solution to any jamaaz Bilaz Train dilemma.

Finally, what do 26 Jumbo jets, 10,000 guests and $128 million have in common? ONE Indian Wedding! Believe it or not this is how much an Indian billionaire spent for his sons wedding. I was in total disgust as I read this and I wholeheartedly believe this is irresponsible and unacceptable. Yes it is his money but I insist that no matter how rich one is, you cannot justify spending that much money on a wedding. It is a slap on the face of all humanity.

And will this week EVER END??

Gender Biases

There is a question that has been lingering on my mind since Saturday. After Venus Williams won at the Wimbledon she jokingly referred to the fact that she was particularly happy with this win because for the first time, the prize money for women and men at Wimbledon was equal.

And this left me wondering, how comes it wasn’t equal for all those year; at least for the last two decades or so? Is there any justification in a sport like tennis where women garner as much profit for the tournament as men that men’s prize money was higher than that of women?

Is this a more telling pattern about our society than we would like to believe? Do women still get discriminated because of their gender?

And throwing out any statistics (i.e. women to men earning ratio), do you personally as a woman experience or have ever experienced this form of discrimination? For men have you observed any discrimination based on gender? Hopefully you have not participated to discriminate…

Marriage, Sex & the African Language

Two posts in a day – I am on a roll today. A few questions ahead concerning marriage, sex & the African language. Check BBC Africa for an active discussion on the importance of African language.

1. Ngaahikania Ndenda – Is it important for our generation to continue the tradition of marriage. Is society ready to accept a single parent family? Are children disadvantaged if they are raised by a single parent?

2. Mdinyano – How important is sex or physical consummation of a relationship? This touches right on mwangi’s lively post on virtual love. Isn’t physical contact a necessity in any relationship?

3. African Language – How important is your native language to you? Do you think Africans who do not speak their mother tongue have sold out? Will you teach your children the language of your father / mother?

And what happens when the parents speak different native languages, which one do the children learn?

Your opinions please – mine are below (I have been accused of asking questions w / out answering them before)

1. Marriage is important and even our generation should continue this tradition. A family should constitute all figures that nature intended: children and two opposite sexed parents. I also believe though that there are structures in place in modern society to aide single parents in raising a child.

2. Quite important. Faith without action is dead; and so is a relationship without good sex.

3. My native language is my identity and I would definitely love to pass it to my little ones. And yes if you do not speak your mother tongue and have no interest in learning I believe you have sold yourself to the colonial devil!

And if the parents are of different heritage, you can settle on one of the parent’s language or at least agree on a common widely spoken African language such as Swahili.

Questions: Money or Love?

Ladies:

Would you rather have a wealthy husband who treats you emotionally just ok but can afford to take good material care for you and your children or…

A man who loves and cares and values you and is always there for his family but is seriously on the wrong side of the coin?

And throw out potential here when answering this question – I am asking would you stay with a man who you know for sure will be forever in the low income class, but he will always be there for his family?

Gentlemen:

Would you marry a woman who is wealthier than you and will definitely and forever be the bread winner for your family?

T2T, Hitched and Rules of Engagement.

T2T

There are only three things I fear in life; midgets, a crying beautiful young lady and last but definitely not least, DEATH.

Unrelated to the above, a wise man once said to me, ‘you do not put all your cash in your wallet, kubaff wewe’, shortly thereafter the wise man handed back my empty wallet and disappeared.

Also unrelated to the above; it is my assumption that at one time in your life each one of you were a child.

And as a child we all know how excited and gleeful we got when we visited a toy shop or pitiad the local kiosk and saw a variety of beautiful eye catching candy lined up and ready for your taste buds.

That same excitement and innate greed for everything at once is what has derailed most grown folks from meaningful lifetime encounters.

And that brings me to the second point.

Hitched

If you can look straight at a ‘tempted to touch situation’ and feel the urge to abstain, then it can be argued that one has overcome their gleeful uncontrolled desires and opted for…

A more meaningful, special kind of engagement that even the bootiest of all booty cannot derail.

And finally, Rules of Engagement

When such hitchery has occurred, there must be proper protocols set up to avoid future but permanent bitterness and or attempted murder.

Some people really go crazy, it is best to be prepared.

Trust must be the fundamental foundation for any such engagement. Frequent and hotly exchanged physical expression is also must.

My advise, a well drawn and adhered to schedule must be put in place. The bible tells us that faith without practice is dead…or something to that effect.

It is the same exact principle that has to be applied to this kind of engagement. Faith with repeated and uninhibited but gracefully shared…practice.

In conclusion, please remember to tip your bartenders!

Adoption

Do you think a couple should adopt if they are capable of having their own children?

Is there a realistic chance that a parent will treat their biological child better than their adopted one?

Should an adopting couple be able to ‘pick and choose’ babies as they adopt?

Do you feel the responsibility or burden of continuing your family’s lineage?

And finally, would you adopt?