Briefs

Facebook is addictive.

It truly can be addictive, my one gripe so far is the stupid and or irrelevant status updates friends feel obligated to share. If your status update is neither interesting, funny nor worth a waste of the 12 precious seconds it takes to read it, please keep it to yourself.

You might find this surprising but even your friends do not give half a shit how many spoons of sugar you used in your coffee this morning. Unless of course the sugar was spiked and you got high on Xstasy, ended up eye-ing your boss and now you are in HR begging her not to file formal ‘unwanted sexual advances’ against you.

Now that I want to read.

Politics: Kenya 2012

As if Kenya didn’t suffer enough (post election violence) and isn’t politically unstable (convenience coalition of the greedy); new political alliances are sprouting up in preparation for 2012 elections.

The graves of innocent people killed in post election violence are still fresh and the image of our country in ruins torment the memory of each Kenyan and yet our leaders cannot stop salivating over 2012.

They have started to rekindle and cement tribal divisions just 1 year later and ride the wave to 2012. It is a great shame!

3N Reads

Yes I do and I have a few recommendations for anyone interested in good novels, if you’ve read them hope you enjoyed them as much as I did.

1.       Disgrace –  J. M. Coetzee

2.       A thousand splendid suns – Khaled Hosseini

3.       Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini

4.       The Power of One – Bryce Courtaney

I picked up my first John Grisham (Playing for Pizza) this week and I am eager to see if I join the millions of Grisham fans. Feel free to recommend a novel as long as it’s not a lovey – duvy – mushy type or science fiction.

Sports

My heartfelt gratitude to Liverpool for their heavy spanking of Christina Ronaldo and his ManUseless crew. If not for anything else the win gives the rest of us a week of peace from the arrogance & gloating of ManU nation.

And all the best to Michigan State Univ Spartans as they venture into March Madness.  This is the year, Go Spartans!

Know your Africa:  Meet President Andry Rajoelina

  • Madagascar president -assumed office today via a generally peaceful populist uprising
  • 34 years of age, former DJ (he was spinning as recently as the early 2000’s) and just fired mayor of Antananarivo (the capital of Madagascar).
  • The young Andry has scheduled elections in 2011.

At the age of 34, we hope President DJ plans to retire early and doesn’t have the ‘president for life’ syndrome that continues to afflict so many of our leaders.

Bye Bye Scolari

You even mad Avram look like a genius!
You even made Avram look like a genius!

Chelsea Under Felipe Scolari:

86 game no-loss streak at Stamford Bridge – GONE

Key games: 1-0 loss to Liverpool @ SB, 2-1 to Arsenal @ SB, 0-0 to HULL freaking CITY @ SB and 2 humiliating losses 2-0 at Liverpool and 3-0 at ManUseless.

16 points dropped at home in the 2009 campaign. Not to mention Aston Villa is ahead of us in the standings.

At this point it is quite a daunting task to make up points and catch ManU for the title. Our only hope for the season hinges on FA Cup and Champions League titles.

You may have tried Felipe but the results did not show, thanks a lot Scolari. Could you please pack Drogba in your bags as you leave?

Chelsea Blues and Summer Bunnies

I am speechless after the ass whopping our boys took from ManUseless. And kudos to Scolari (always reminds me of Salari by nameless, btw) that he has decided to drop Didier Curly Kit Whinner Drogba for Sunderland and maybe even longer, forever…I hope.

In the ManUseless match, Drogba behaved more like a top athlete in an olympic walkathon final than the premiere league player he is paid to be.

Coming to a Salon near you!
Paging all Milan hairdressers, Hair gel factories...Didier is on his way

We can’t afford to lose any more games, period.

****

I don’t know what to say about this summer bunny business and i got more confused by this article and the comments.

What is a summer bunny?

How does one apply to be a member?

Are there risks or rewards?

Are there other bunnies, winter, spring, fall bunnies?

***

Archer, Xs pole…I will try to make it up by end of this year.

Happy 2009 people.

3N, Out.

Chelsea FC

This is our year….

1. Chelsea

2. ManUseless

3. LiverFools

4. ARSEnals

5. The Rest

some evidence to support me and archer’s predictions fox sports

BBC feature on Scolari’s Chelsea club. Another prediction though they put ManU at # 1 which will put a smile on Kirima’s face.

and Archer’s commentary:

It’s evident that Chelsea has the stronger squad this season, with new manager LFS giving the players confidence. Thus, our key players Petr Cech, Frank Lampard & Michael Essien have all agreed to new long term contracts. Plus our weak spot in right back has been covered by one Bosingwa. Our defence and midfield are second to none in Europe. Our two keepers are the best in England, maybe even Europe if not for one Gianluigi Buffon. The attack is not as strong as I’d have expected, with those clowns Sheva & Pizarro still under CFC employment. But Drogba, Kalou, Anelka (who showed excellent form in pre season) & Franco di Santo pack enough lethal firepower, and Robinho might be arriving from Real Madrid.

Topless Soccer: Austria defeats Germany 10-5

I am not making this one up, in fact I am still searching for highlights of the game as well as images. Meanwhile the story is here and the basics for the topless match are as follows:

  • match was organized from a chat room
  • the women wore nothing other than thongs with their country colors painted on upper body
  • the crowd was mostly male…duh!
  • after party was on the beach for both teams with the losing team taking body shots, as spectators tagged along and kept cheering.

Jokes aside this was a serious game, in fact there was an injury….

“I hope our men will take heart from that tomorrow. We played pretty hard, we even had some injuries, like I for example broke my toe nail,” 29-year-old bank employee Doris Fastenmeir told Reuters.”

I am certainly looking forward to Spain vs. Sweden, who’s with me?

Updated, evidence is here – photo credit to reuters

Germany in black & white, Austria in White & Red…

Things become heavy

the good

the weekend is here!

Obama Won. The black senator who goes by Barack Hussein Obama (couldn’t sound more of a foreigner) really won the democratic primary! America is truly and positively a unique country.

the bad

F*ck the Celtics, how could they traumatize me like that on a Thursday night. And what the F*ck happened to Phil Jackson and his superior coaching? HOW are you up by 24 points in a game then sit back and let the celtics pound you away?

I am depressed, thanks to you Kobe & Phil Jackson. If they don’t win on Sunday I will have to stay away from sharp objects…and or any liquid with more than .01% alcohol content.

its gets worse…the really bad

Gas Prices – Let’s just say it now takes a conscious decision to visit anyone who lives further away than walking distance. If only I wasn’t allergic to 2 wheeled engines, I would join Modo’s camp.

Hot Weather – do you feel sometimes as if God is testing how well he created the human body by randomly going into extreme weather? Today its flooding, next week it’s scorching alafu two days later tstorms! How do you even prepare clothwise? You could be sweating or canoing your way home…beats any logic.

random thoughts

If Obama makes it to the white house, will they change the salon to a Barber & Beauty shop? And since only the President’s family lives in the WH, who will play with Michelle’s daughters?

Speaking of Obama, won’t it be ironic / funny if the first Luo president will not even be Kenyan?

****

Oh, and good lucky to Harambee Stars as they try to redeem whatever is left of Kenyan national soccer against Zimbabwe. For those attending (i.e gish), cheer on – we are together in spirit.

one more note worth mentioning

According to Dr. Mehmet Oz (Oprah’s resident Doc) -irreversible scientific research has proven that men who have double the amount of sex per week (assumption is 2 times per) increase their lives by an astounding 3 YEARS!

Further analysis from 3N Laboratories indicate that if a man doubles his RSSW (Recommended Sexual Sessions per Week) they would increase their life by 6 years.

Even further but inconclusive analysis (we had problems convincing women in the study group to continue past the first week) indicate that if you quadruple your RSSW, you are looking at 12 years of extended life.

Then 6 times the sex equals 24 years and so on and so forth. Basically the doctor recommends a lot more sex if you don’t want to die young.

p.s. for women it is the quality not the quantity that counts

Still Blue, Chelsea Blue

Please watch this video and tell me really…..

…who the fuck slaps like that? REALLY was he trying to point or WTF was Drogba trying to do???

Pole sana Archer, I should have known….with all that hair gel and the crying after his special one left, I should have known Drogba was bound to fuck the team at one point or the other.

It was SOOO CLOSE…if only Terry had made that PENALTY!!, I had even started celebrating before I saw the damn shot go far right….

Now I am just too deflated and too bitter like Mrs Clinton to congratulate the other team which played in Moscow.

What a shitty ending to a good game!